All the Support You Need By R. F. Long
We all know how glamorous a writer’s life is, right? We roll out of bed bright and early and the muse is already whispering in our ear. We breakfast on healthy and nutritious food which magically appears before us. We may wave farewell to family, and then sit down to pour out page after page of incredible prose, beautifully constructed dialogue and a magnificent novel. Emails pour in from adoring fans, royalty cheques from doting publishers and our agents and editors cheer and applaud when we hand in our draft.
Err… no. Not really. I mean it would be nice. Especially if the food would prepare itself and the house would take care of its own cleaning. If someone could throw in the odd massage it might sound like heaven!
Writing is hard. There. I’ve said it. The secret is out. Combining writing with Real Life is very hard. Instead of a work-life balance we’re more talking about a work-life-more work-mild insanity with added paranoia balance when few others will actually accept that it’s anything more than sticking some words on paper.
Add a full time job and perhaps a family into the mix and it really starts to get interesting. For example, right now, my four year old daughter is leaning over the keyboard suggesting that I should press some other buttons, the ones with the funny characters on them. Right at this moment! Her head is in my face and she’s determined to help.
For every writer, Real Life has to be dealt with. Sure your hero and heroine may be falling in love while battling legions of the undead, but if a pipe has burst in the basement, an urgent bill needs paying or “Binky the duck” is missing, you’ve got to deal, and quickly. Recently on the ‘net, there have been a series of articles and posts by eminent writers detailing how fans don’t seem to understand this, which boil down to when a book is late, there’s no point in haranguing your favourite author, telling them to sit down and write the thing and stop blogging, working on other projects, going to football games, or spending time with their families.
Writers need support – from friends, family, fans and anyone else willing to give it. Other writers often “get” the situation better than most people. Family and friends love us to death, but while launch days are exciting and they’ll plug your book to the ends of the earth, sometimes the grind of what writing means on a day to day basis is beyond understanding. I am very lucky. I have a husband who does get it and can ward off the attack of the small child with the over-eager typing fingers (He gave her a fuzzy felt game just now. She’s sitting on the floor making pictures. She likes him!)
Sites like Romance Divas provides this in a way few other venues can. It’s multinational – writers from all over the world meet here and exchange ideas. It’s a caring, nurturing environment where writers encourage each other from the beginner to the long-term professional. And at times, it’s a madhouse where you can just unwind with friends and have a laugh.
Everyone needs support. It can come from anywhere and can be the smallest gesture – from a cup of tea or extracting five children for the afternoon, or a friendly line or two in chat.
Where do you get yours?
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R. F. Long writes fantasy and paranormal romance. Her novel “The Scroll Thief” and her novella “The Wolf’s Sister” are currently available from Samhain . Please visit her at her website or her livejournal .
Posted: Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 @ 8:00 am
Categories: Divas Speak.
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March 4th, 2009 at 9:18 am
My online friends were met through my agent, through RWAOL, and through Romance Divas. I couldn’t get through a day without them! My family is super supportive, too, especially my husband, but there’s no substitute for the support of like-minded individuals struggling with the same issues I’m dealing with.
March 4th, 2009 at 9:24 am
My little sister is really my rock. She’s always got an ear (or keyboard) for me to spew when I need to talk, and she encourages me non-stop. And gives me the kick in the butt to go with it when it’s needed. She’s a writer too, so she really gets me on all levels.
My hubby is awesome, but he’s not a writer, and there’s some times he just can’t understand what I need to hear. But I’m incredibly lucky he’s so supportive.
And there’s all the online support too – the Divas, my chapter mates, and the other writers I’ve only met online. Writing would be a much harder thing without them.
March 4th, 2009 at 9:48 am
I have little people too who insist I “watch this” constantly. They have this ability to sense when I sit down in front of my laptop and will magically appear next to me. (I’ve even tried sitting as quietly as possible, or sneaking my computer into another room. They.Just.Know.)
Thankfully I too have a dh who “get’s it” and is so supportive and will distract the boys so I can attempt to get some word count. And Diva’s is invaluable for encouragement or griping or hand holding. There is always someone there fighting the same battles as you, and they get it and can sympathize while giving you a kick in the butt to get back at it.
March 4th, 2009 at 9:49 am
My constant anchor is my little sister. Like Ember’s sis, she’s also a writer and can understand my woes.
My original critique group is also a constant source of support. Though we’ve disbanded since I moved, we still meet up to chat whenever we can and stay in touch online. Then there’s my chapter mates. It really helps to have writers to turn to.
I definitely get a lot of support from friends I’ve met through Romance Divas too, but I’m an old fashioned gal. Sometimes I just have to meet someone and chit-chat over coffee about books.
March 4th, 2009 at 9:58 am
My cps, and the RNA have been a fabulous support and then I have Diva’s, The Bat Cave at eHarl, the lovely ladies of SRN and my long suffering husband who has discovered over the years that I’m a nicer person if I get to write.
March 4th, 2009 at 10:02 am
I followed along until the healthy breakfast…um, no.
And my support comes from my writers friend and my bestest friend in the whole world, M. We made it through college together. There was one class I don’t think we’d have survived without each other.
March 4th, 2009 at 10:16 am
I get most of my support from my Divas. My closest writer friends keep me going.