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How cliched of you!

by Gina Welborn

If we define a cliche as somethings that been done so many times that it’s past familiar, then isn’t giving Christmas gifts and birthday gifts a cliche?

Okay, I doubt that’s going to get me off the hook for going Christmas shopping this week.

I like cliches as long as they fit and have a twist to them.

Just between the two of us, I have this secret idea to write a character who only speaks in cliches. Remember that “Star Trek Next Generations” episode when Cpt. Picard met that alien who only spoke in metaphors and allegories? Loved it!

One of my all time despised cliches is the concept of soul mates. What if your soul mate died in a car crash when he was 16? Does that doom you to a life all alone…or with some guy who won’t be anything more to you than a second-string quarterback?

Or what if your soul mate was stupid (lucky you) and he married the town’s #1 exotic dancer? Why do we always assume our (or our characters) soul mates are these hunky hearthrobs with Bill Gates-like brains and fortune? Duh. Realistically we all can’t have great soul mates because look at how many hunky hearthrob Bill Gates-smart guys are out there.

Oh, and what happens if you marry the guy who you were 100% certain was your soul mate but then learned he had an affinity for leaving the toothpaste cap off so you KNOW your true soul mate wouldn’t be so stupid? Do you divorce the guy and go looking for your true soul mate? Since feelings change as quick as Madonna reinvents herself, how can you really be sure your soul mate is your true soul mate?

My brain is stressing.

Ever notice in romance novels that the characters don’t realize they’re soul mates until they’ve had hot wild never-like-it-before sex? What if your soul mate just doesn’t have “game”? Why do we assume our soul mates are the ones who have the best bouncing-on-the-matress disco?

Or what if your soul mate dies, leaving you a widow? You’re kinda obligated to tell the next guy who proposes, “Sure, I’ll marry you, but just know that you only have a percentage of my heart and not a bit of my soul because it is forever linked with my dead husband.” He deserves a right to know that you’re a Corpse Soul Bride. And that way he can know that he might was to keep looking because he obviously hasn’t found his soul mate in you.

See, this is why I think the concept of soul mates is so totally stupid and cliched and takes away personal choice.

Is there only one “right” person for us and our characters? If you believe that, then I can’t see how you (or your characters) don’t struggle with second-guessing your (their) decision to be with the person you’re (they’re) with. What if he’s not “the one”? What if so-and-so was but he had bad breath so you refused to go out with him again?

And what if your soul mate was a total jerk?

I don’t even want to imagine that.

Good thing love is a choice